1 of 135
"#and sadly i can only wear one halloween costume per year" Says who? P.S. you can cosplay. P.P.S. People dress up for kids in hospitals!
oh believe me, I cosplay PLENTY. But thrift-store Halloween costumes aren’t quite the same, in my head, for some reason? Like, when I’m thrifting and see an enormous sparkly gold sweater and think “you could be 1980s teen girl C-3PO in this” that is a concept that feels like it would work better at a costume party than at a con. Actual cosplay, in my head, should be more about craft and skill and hot glue burns than just going to the thrift store and letting inspiration strike.
(Although I finally did find a brass bell with a wooden handle last time I went thrifting, so I can FINALLY start trying to put an AMCW costume together again! Still not sure if I want to be Angua or just a random Watchman, though.)
so uh I decided to be a lady hobbit for Halloween this year, on the grounds that it is a costume that is warm and easy to put together from the thrift store
but as it turns out the thrift store part is not necessary
because I actually already own enough clothes that a lady hobbit would wear that I could very easily kit out half of fucking Hobbitton, apparently
I own three dirndls? that is a lot of dirndls, right? is that too many dirndls?
also a surprising number of waistcoats
I had been describing my personal style as ‘halfway between Charlotte Charles and Miss Frizzle’ but apparently I need to add a third axis labeled ‘Lobelia Sackville-Baggins’
i guess i should probably go figure out the optimal scarf + waistcoat pairing or something
hm do i want to go full Fellowship and look for a rucksack to wear over my cloak? i guess that’s something to look for when I go thrifting
(yes, I have a cloak. It is heathered green wool, and has a hood. I got it in a vintage shop in Baltimore. It’s SO GREAT.)
#cosplay #halloween #lotr #important decisions #guys i own a stupid amount of clothing okay #ps if you live in the DC area and need a halloween costume please let me take you thrifting #i am GREAT at thrift store costumes #and sadly i can only wear one halloween costume per year #so this skill is underutilized #and on that note it is probably time for bed
Ladies, I am holding out my hand. Do you trust me?
I need you to open Google Maps. Locate your nearest mall. Get in your car. Drive to Yankee Candle.
Past the seasonal pumpkin display, near the back of the store, you will find a trash pile Man Candle section. You will see candles called MMM, Bacon!. Riding Mower. Man Town. (I’m not kidding. Man Town.) Stay strong. Not in this section, but likely very near this section, you will find a candle called Mountain Lodge.
Hold this jar in your hands like a talisman. Close your eyes and picture a man.
I want to be clear: I’m not talking about a Hugh Dancy. Or an Andrew Garfield, a Ben Whishaw, even a Tom Hiddleston. This exercise requires someone in the Chris Evans weight class. The Richard Armitage department. Someone with smile lines around his eyes who could chop the cedar for your bower with his own hands, strangle an alpha wolf, carry you home when you sprain your ankle in the woods, bench press your entire body. Picture this man in your mountain home with a full beard, a slightly grimy white henley, a fond half smile he reserves only for you. Now open the lid and smell Mountain Lodge.
Steady yourself on the man candle display. Give yourself a second. No, you’re not wrong. Yes, the Yankee Candle Company has just eliminated the need for men. This medium tumbler Mountain Lodge candle jar is now your boyfriend. The Yankee Candle Company has effectively replaced the need for contact with the male half of our species with a compact and clean-burning candle in a jar.
"Do you like this one?" the cashier asked, ringing me up. "Every man should be required by law to smell like what this candle smells like," I replied intensely. "That’ll be $12.01," she said.